Marci and I were having our usual afternoon coffee. My days have become so much more since she moved in down the lane. Every afternoon when I return from carpool chaos, I’m ready for a little pick-me-up. I settle the kids, look at the clock, and depending on where the time falls relative to the 4:30 hour, Marci and I rendezvous, brew a pot or pop a cork.
Both are always appropriate and equally satisfying. On good days, these two rituals converge.
But no matter the time, Marci and I always have the best conversations. Today we talked about friendships and how sometimes they come and sometimes they go. It’s hard to let go of things that once brought so much comfort and joy. But we all know that life is a continuum of change and blurred lines.
Back in college, I took a theology class titled “Relationships.” I don’t recall much about the class, but I do recall a classmate making a very poignant point about relationships in general. She asserted that relationships are not intended to stand the test of time–that all relationships serve a purpose in our lives, but we cannot assume all relationships will last forever. The professor was aghast but I saw her point:
Relationships are always purposeful, but they are not always permanent. And that’s okay.
Marci and I traded stories about friends we’ve loved but lost to time, new cities, marriage, kids, life’s unexpected turns. Sometimes we gave too much, expected too little, expected too much, gave too little. But these relationships made us who we are and prepared us for new, and possibly deeper ones.
Like the ones we find every day at the 4:30 hour.
Have your relationships changed since having kids? Have you changed? What have you learned about letting go?
image source: Sucre