Motherhood: job or relationship?

A few months ago I read Free But Not Cheap by fellow mommy blogger, Ask Moxie. In the article, she poses the question: Do you view motherhood as a job or as a relationship?

After reading the post, I had a powerful AH-HA moment. I realized that I had been going through the motions of motherhood as if it were a laborious, menial, underpaid, under appreciated, endless, exhausting J-O-B. 


And when you have a crappy job, you don’t rise and shine or charge through the day with inspiration and gusto. You just go through the motions and beat yourself up on the inside for not being who you know you can be, doing what you know you can do or having everything you think you need.

The difference, though, between a crappy job and motherhood is that there are little people involved–little human beings who have only been on the planet for a short amount of time, are completely dependent upon you for their survival, and despite how you feel about your “JOB,” are still your biggest fans.

In an instant, I quit my laborious, menial, underpaid, under appreciated, endless, exhausting J-O-B and began to shift my focus on the relationships that needed tending and mending. The “job stuff” became less urgent, less crippling and the relationships became more joyous and fulfilling.

Viewing motherhood as a relationship has changed how I parent. I find myself coaching more and disciplining less. I can’t expect little people who have only been walking the earth for 2, 3 or 6 years to know and remember everything they need to know and remember. Every challenge is an opportunity to teach and learn. I also want my daughters to look back on their childhood and remember the relationship they had with their mother: teacher, coach, nurse, therapist, supporter, biggest fan, greatest champion. That’s the real J-O-B.


Do you view motherhood as a job or as a relationship? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Written by Ashley Bond

Ashley Bond

Founder of parenting blog, entrepreneur, underestimated disorganized overachiever.


  1. Great post Ashley. We definitely need to remember the important things when day to day gets hard.

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